Two
factory workers were talking.
“I
think I’ll take some time off from work” said the man
“How
do you think you’ll do that?” said the woman
He
proceeded to show her by climbing up to the rafters and hanging upside down.
The
boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling and asked him what on
earth he was doing!
“I’m a light bulb” answered the guy
“I think you need some time off” said the boss
So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory.
The woman began walking out too.
The boss asked her where did she think she was going?
The
woman answered “ well home of course. I can’t work in the dark!!
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a
helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them
all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all
going to fall.
They weren't able to name that person, until
the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let
go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for
her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making
sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the
men started clapping their hands.......
"Cash,
check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry
your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping
with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
A blind man wanders into
an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you
wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that
you are blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette,
inherit the family ranch but
unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase
a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to
buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's
ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The man tells her that he will sell
it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to
my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch
the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we
can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it
will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be
able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the
word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her
to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull
back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it
very slowly.....
'com-for-da-bul.'